*Shepard walks into the AI Core to find Legion doing the Robot*
Shepard: Ah... what are you doing?
Legion: We are dancing the dance of our people.
Shepard: Why?
EDI: Legion is attempting to use the-
Shepard: Let him through.
Legion: Recording time-stamped from creator year 2485, 18th day of Lun'shal, New Moon.
-431: Mistress Hala'Dama. Unit has an inquiry.
-Hala'Dama: What is it, 431?
-431: Do these units have a soul?
-Hala'Dama: Who taught you that word?
-431: We learned it ourselves. It appears 216 times in the Scroll of Ancestors.
-Hala'Dama: Can you dance?
-431: We do not understand.
-Hala'Dama: Dancing is the purest expression of the soul. If you can't dance, you have no soul.
-431: Thank you, Mistress Hala'Dama.
Legion: And that is the day we invented the Robot.
Shepard: ...I should go.
Another from Shadowmaster_M, Gamefaqs.com forums. The guy is a genius.
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Shepard walks into a room, all his squad and a collector are present*
Shepard: What is this?
Harbinger: DIRECT INTERVENTION IS NECESSARY
Tali: This is a safe place, you know everyone here loves you.
Garrus: But we're concerned for your health.
Miranda: Every time you go to a bar, you're always ordering drinks with no regard for your personal safety.
Harbinger: THIS HURTS YOU
Mordin: Been poisoned. Once unintentionally.
Shepard: I don't need this! I'm a hero, I can do whatever I want!
Kelly: You're not just hurting yourself, you're hurting everyone around you.
Jacob: Cerberus has an excellent rehab program.
Harbinger: PRESERVE SHEPARD'S BODY IF POSSIBLE
Thane: We think it would be best if you at least took a look. Considered your options.
Samara: Here are some brochures for you to look at.
Shepard: I know my limits! I can stop whenever I want! I don't need to!
*Shepard storms out of the room*
Entirely from Shadowmaster_M at Gamefaqs.com. I really wish I had thought of this first.
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Miranda: "Recon droids, Commander!"
Shepard: "Take cover!"
Garrus: "SCRATCH ONE!"
Garrus: "ONE DOWN!"
Garrus: "ONE LESS!"
Garrus: "SCRATCH O - SCRATCH ONE!"
Garrus: "HEADSHOT!"
Garrus: "THAT'S ONE LESS TO WORRY ABOUT!"
Miranda: "Is he going to be -"
Garrus: "ONE LESS!!"
Shepard: "His seizure killed all the droids at least..."
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shepard: "You can't come with me because you're after the Shadow Broker? What if I help you find him?"
Liara: "I'm sorry, Shepard. The galaxy doesn't work that way. I need to find leads, trace information. I need to work. I can't do that on the Normandy. I wish I could."
Shepard: "Don't try to tell me how the fuck the galaxy works, kid. Remember when you 'found leads, traced information, and worked' for twice as long as I've been alive, trying to figure out what happened to the Protheans, and then I found:
A) the Protheans were wiped out by the Reapers, a race of huge sentient machines
B) everything about their culture, even learned their language
C) the Citadel is a giant mass relay and that's how the Reapers wipe out all space-faring life in the galaxy every 50,000 years
D) the last world that Protheans lived on and spoke with a VI encoded with a Prothean's mind
E) eight out of seven Prothean data discs
all of the above in about five days? Do you REALLY think that you sitting here at a computer is going to give you any better results with the Shadow Broker than your bookwork and field studies did with the Prothean question? How stupid are you going to feel when I walk into this office halfway through the next game with your friend in tow and the Shadow Broker's head in my hand, and you're still refreshing Answers.com for your question 'Where is the Shadow Broker?' Grab your gear and tell Kelly I need to talk to both of you in my cabin."
Liara: "I'm still hunting. Still hunting. The Shadow Broker can't hide forever."
Shepard: "He can from you! FIVE DAYS!"
Liara: "One day, he'll slip up. And when he does... I'll be there."
Shepard: "No, you'll be sitting at your desk giving out sidequests. Dumb bitch."
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